irosire ,inrosire, inrobire

Un pahar gol

nu e nevoie de cuvant
deloc
nu mai conteaza
de seva s-a golit
si sufla vant
nimic
tacerea eschiveaza

abulie totala
in forme perfecte
pacat cu defecte
si suc de portocala
secunde infecte
si praf de lancezeala.

inutil
dezamagiri
inutile
fericiri
nu exista copil

frustrari si regrete
viitor cu pecete
tarziu
vei vedea ce greseala ai facut
hazliu
vom dori un trecut.

One

Sperma,sange,lacrimi

Deodata sau separat? Cine traieste mai intens are 3 in 1. Pick me, pick me!
Salut, ma numesc homo sapiens si contrar numelui nu sunt nici homo si nici sapiens(latin 'sapiens'=wise). Sunt rezultatul unei partide de sex. Din sperma ne-am nascut, in sperma ne vom intoarce. Am fost zamislit in sange si lacrimi. Gol,ud si plangand. Cu un asemenea inceput cine pariaza pe un sfarsit mai bun?
Am crescut intr-o societate din care a rezultat 100% din ceea ce sunt azi. Limbaj articulat, cuvinte, concepte, idei, ganduri. TOT ceea ce sunt e preformat. E o matrice. Nu, nu scriu 'jos sistemul' cu creta pe perete si nici nu am filme cu keanu reeves in cap, doar porno. Am o secunda de luciditate. Mi-e rau si incerc sa ajung la sursa. Inutil, stiu. Caut tzapul pentru a ocoli ispasirea caprei. Sunt un cacat cu ochi intr-o latrina cu cacati fara ochi. Intrebarea e daca eu pot sa vad parul din ochiul altuia si copacii din cauza padurii.

Atrezia de primavara

Peste cuib de randunele, si norocul meu cu ele

Am aterizat odata cu o ploaie sanatoasa de primavara, cu iz de Marburg. Cerul pare sa cada peste crestetul meu pieptanat cu carare 'ntr-o parte. N-am mai glasuit din cauza la o mutzenie care este, si care a fost mai deunazi si maine ce va sa vie, amin. Intre timp, tot eu, dar nu aceeasi, m-am preschimbat in toate cele, am stat una cu pamantul, m-am balacit in necurate si prea curati, rupta, sparta, jupuita, sfasiata in durerile facerii..de bine. Imi miroase a rau.
De data asta e o buba cu bau-bau mare si rau de care nu cred k mai scap fara cronizicare. M-am procopsit cu mine insami intr-o varianta infinit mai greu de ucis 2. mai putin tanara si mai mult nelinistita. join us again for the young and the nest-less...nest-less..nest-less.

Pierdut buletin

Despre identitate

Despre toti cei care or sa rada de copilul matur si batranul copilaros. Or sa rada de mine. Caci intr-o zi din viata unui om oarecare se intampla lucruri de care nu-mi pasa si nu-ti pasa si recunoasteti ca nu va pasa.
E dreptul meu sa imi interoghez identitatea. Si dreptul vostru sa vi se para penibil.
M-am pierdut dupa copaci, printre frunze, nemaivazand padurea. Sunt o suprapunere de ambalaje si fundite rupte, supte, reinnoite.
Voi si cu mine. Spectatorii invizibili ale propriilor noastre morti.
Nu mai caut pe nimeni.

Stralucirea obscena a mintii neprihanite

Scarba gandacului

Strans cu usa, strivit sub tocuri si papuci de plastic. Carapacea pocneste si maruntaiele ies afara. Atentie gandac vomita!
Ma doare in punga de hartie de durerile altora in punga de plastic. Asta e discrepanta dintre manute delicate cu flori uscate in coltul camerei si suptul de seva al sufletului acidifiat in cinism.
Eu cu cine votez?
A fi sau a nu fi?
Oul sau gaina?
Intrebarile marcante ale umanitatii marcate de marci scumpe si marc'o polo.
Dileme si decizii penibile in idiosincrasia mea fata de cetatzeni. Lua-m-ar in deradere si in balon gurile vomitande ale lasilor.
Nu mai am sens. Mi-a fugit sensul dupa o tarfa giratorie. Asa ca ma invart intr-o invartita romaneasca cu batzul in polenta crispatzilor si constipatzilor cu ochii spalaciti in zoaeiele civilizatiei.
De ce radeti ma si taci in coltul gurii? Va e frica sa te doara-n punga de plastic dupa ce s-a rupt punga de hartie?
Eu tac si rad in coltul gurii. Mi-e scarba si mi-e jeg, dar rad si mi-e bine, bagate-as in mine.
Senin si divin. Mi-e bine de atata rau si mi-e rau de atata bine. Razand doar eu cu mine, si domnisoare fine...sau pline..de tine, din nou..in fine..bagate-as in mine.

Ma intorc la laguna albastra.
Asteptati-ma cu nisip intre degetele mari de la picioare si albastrele de nu-ma-uita.

Fatidicul 17 ianuarie

What dreams may come

Gata.

.
.
Gata virgula gata virgula gata punct virgula
.
.

sublima sublimare...

I don't expect anything

...

Interogatii introspecte.

.
.

Mainile sus, trage curentul!

Intre cine si cand
Intre tine si vant
A intrat un cuvant

Sub ganduri de bine
Sub valuri meschine
Te-am ascuns de mine

.
.

What kills you, makes you weaker

That day, That day
What a mess what a marvel
I walked into that cloud again
And I lost myself
And I'm sad, sad, sad
Small, alone, scared
Craving purity
A fragile mind and a gentle spirit

That day, That day,
What a marvelous mess
This is all that I can do
I'm done to be me
Sad, scared, small, alone, beautiful
It's supposed to be like this
I accept everything
It's supposed to be like this

That day, That day
I lay down beside myself
In this feeling of pain, sadness
Scared, small, climbing, crawling
Towards the light
And it's all that I see and
I'm tired and I'm right
And I'm wrong
And it's beautiful

That day, That day
What a mess, what a marvel
We're all the same
But no one thinks so
And it's okay
And I'm small and I'm divine
And it's beautiful
And it's coming
And it's already here
And it's absolutely perfect

That day, That day
When everything was a mess
And everything was in place
And there's too much hurt
Sad, small, scared, alone
And everyone's a cynic
And it's hard and it's sweet
But it's supposed to be like this

That day, That day
When I sat in the sun
And I thought and I cried
Cause I'm sad, scared, small
Alone, strong
And I'm nothing and I'm true
Only a brave man can break through
And it's all okay
Yeah, it's okay

That day, That day
What a mess, what a marveleous mess
We're all the same
But no one thinks so
And it's okay
And I'm small and I'm divine
And it's beautiful
And it's coming
And it's already here
And it's absolutely perfect

So sweet, can you feel it? (Can you feel it?)
Are you here?
Are you with me?
I can feel it
And its beautiful

That day, That day
That day, absolutely perfect

Natalie Imbruglia - That Day
.

Mad world

Umilinta si alti demoni

Tarand capul in noroi.
De un picior descult te trag mainile cu degete groase peste bolovani si balti. Unde e demnitatea sufletului de femeie? Unde e siragul de perle si pudra parfumata din alte vremuri?
Cand ai crezut ca ma scapi ai strans mai tare de picior si m-ai tarat prin ciulini.

Asteptand divinitatea intr-o groapa de balegar.

...

Titlu

E gol.
De acolo de unde izvorau cuvintele din taste parca nu mai curge nimic. Nu stiu cand a secat totul. Si nici de ce.
Au trecut pe langa mine clipe. Iar eu am trecut prin ele. Si n-a curs nimic. Nici un strop de cerneala nu a mai vrut sa mazgaleasca hartia. A fost mai mult anul trairii decat anul marturisirii. Mi-e mila de timpul nepunctat. L-am lasat prada unei memorii subiective si inselatoare.
E amuzant privind in urma scrijelitul de ganduri si idei. E caraghios. Nimic nu mai merita scris. E altcineva aici. E blogul altcuiva. Sunt altcineva.
E pur si simplu gol.

Return

Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I'm across

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one

And you'll be lost
Every river that you try to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the firing stops
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

Back

place for self

Schloss Freudenberg – unfurling the mind and senses

Pass more often
through woods
than through books,
trees and stones
teach you what masters cannot.

-Bernard von Clairvaix,1090-1153

The path to Schloss Freudenberg is unexpectedly modest; patchy asphalt is bordered by wooden stakes and exposed wiring. Narrow wooden plank stairs rest on what were once steps, stretching almost across the entire width of the building, but are now covered with tar sheeting. Uneven parquet floors creak underfoot.Unknowingly, visitors have already begun their journey through Schloss Freudenberg's "Field of Experience towards the Unfurling of the Senses and Thoughts". Here you can explore "how the eye sees, the ear hears, the nose smells, the skin senses, the fingers touch, the feet (under)stand, the hands (be)hold, the brain thinks, the lungs breathe, the blood pulsates, [and] the body vibrates".
Huge black and white and colorful discs rotate on the walls, creating dynamic images; a maze in the complete darkness rises and falls; steel bells are suspended from a ceiling, their clappers almost reaching the floor; metal plates on thin stems emerging out of a sand floor can be played with cello bows, creating music and tone paintings. Outdoors on the 16 hectare grounds, an Aeolian harp (named after the Greek god of wind, these harps are 'played' by the wind) graces a hillside next to a stone labyrinth; a barefoot-path made of smooth pebbles, bricks, stones, wood, and other materials snakes through a section of forest past a humming hole; the playground is flanked by mounds of carefully assembled logs and ropes; there are stilts, balancing discs, and a giant set of duet swings.
Schloss Freudenberg's cafe offers a range of refreshments and desserts made at Mechtildehausen's bakery, a local organic and communal farm. Perhaps the most unusual eating experience, however, is at 'The Dark Bar' (Der Dunkelbar). Through heavy black floor-to-ceiling curtains, visitors enter complete darkness. Friendly bartenders put nervous customers at ease by asking them to follow the sounds of their voices, left, right, feel for the barstools. Orders are filled and customers reach hands out towards glasses or plates that are gently tapped on the counter. Food and drink is savored while bodies finally begin to relax after repeatedly straining to see. Ears perk up to identify the multitude of sounds, clinking forks, giggling, footsteps, and throats cleared, which would normally be perceived as white noise. In recent years, Schloss Freudenberg's success has inspired others to create Dark Bars in Berlin, Koeln, Hamburg, Nürnberg, and Zurich.

pe scari, pas cu pas

Diferit nu inseamana mai bine, neobisnuit nu inseamna mai rau. Este doar o bucata de viata neexplorata si neexploatata. Boom-ul informational e lipit cu nitroglicerina. Creierul sta sa explodeze.

the night before the dawn...

Proiectii...

Hello
Can you hear me?
Am I gettin' through to you?
Hello
Is it late there?
There's a laughter on the line
Are you sure you're there alone?
Cause I'm
Tryin' to explain
Somethin's wrong
Ya just don't sound the same
Why don't you
Go outside
Kiss the rain
Whenever you need me
Kiss the rain
Whenever I'm gone, too long.
If your lips
Feel lonely and thirsty
Kiss the rain
And wait for the dawn.
Keep in mind
We're under the same sky
And the nights
As empty for me, as for you
If ya feel
You can't wait till morinin'
Kiss the rain
Hello
Do you miss me?
I hear you say you do
But not the way I'm missin' you
What's new?
How's the weather?
Is it stormy where you are?
Cause I'm so close but it feels like you're so far
Oh would it mean anything
If you knew
What I'm left imagining
In my mind
Would you go
Kiss the rain
And you'd fall over me
Think of me
Only me
Kiss the rain
Whenever I'm gone too long
If your lips
Feel lonely and thirsty
Kiss the rain
and wait for the dawn
Keep in mind
We're under the same skies
And the nights
As empty for me, as for you
If you feel
You can't wait till morning
Kiss the rain
Oooooohhhhh
Kiss the rain
Oooooohhhhh
Kiss the rain
Hello
Can ya hear me?

levitare in evitare